putting on a happy face


do you remember the days when things were fun? when just playing a video game was fun? when just watching anime was fun? when just doing whatever was enjoyable? when watching stuff with friends was fun? when playing games with friends was fun? those days are long gone.

do you remember when you were actually happy? when you felt good about yourself? when you felt like you belonged where you are? when you felt like you knew what you were doing with your life? when you felt like you had meaning? when you felt like you were actually alive? it's been so long it might never have been real.

do you remember the last group of friends you had? how about the one before that? what's that, you pushed them all away? what, you've your current friends away too? do you even have anyone left?

you do? that's a first. will it last? or will you push him away too? you already tried once.

how do you feel happy? making others happy? a noble goal, but does it work?

looks like it does, sometimes. is that all? you're just going to keep doing it?

putting on a happy face, forever?