Downward, ho!

or, how does it keep getting worse?

I don't even know what to say. I barely have the motivation to get out of my bed most days. For what, anyway? Another boring day at the job I completely and utterly despise but cannot quit? A weekend where I spend most of it doing absolutely nothing? Exactly.

Burnout, part Infinity

Interacting with anyone doesn't even cross my mind. Doing anything seems preposterous. Trying to be productive ends in my crippling anxiety showing back up. Attempting to have fun results in the feeling of nothing. Why bother being around anyone when you're going to drag them down? Exactly.

I haven't been taking care of my body. I've probably gained weight. I probably look like a gremlin to anyone that had the misfortune of seeing me. I've gotten sick again (the week I didn't have to go to that stupid shithole of an office was the best I've felt since the last time I got sick). Why bother if I don't even care? Exactly.


Do you, the person reading this, need to know any of this? No. You don't need to know that I'm horribly depressed and refuse to do anything to do about it. If you're in the same situation, you are not alone. Please, go get help.

I'm just venting. Screaming into the void. Ignore it, it's for the better. I'm not going to post anything positive here, because that is not the kind of person I am.